Ziggy Stardust, Eminem, Sasha Fierce, Batman.....Alter egos are a tool. Here's how to use them.
When your own ego makes you cringe- should you create an alter-ego?
What in the heck is an “Alter Ego”?!
The idea of creating an alter ego is not some foo-foo, pie-in-the-sky process of pretending like you’re an alien who has super strength just ‘cause - that’d be cool, right? I mean, yes it would be pretty cool but let’s focus, ok?
Creating an alter ego can be a life-changing tool. Think of the person you want to become throughout your life. When you think about that person do they have skills that you just don’t have…..yet? Ok, well write down what those skills and attributes are - right now, seriously do it.
But also know this is going to take a minute - I will make this one a series on Alter Ego building, to one, give us time to build, and two save your eyes and brains from another long-winded newsletter.
“Cary Grant once said, “I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally, I became that person. Or he became me.”
— Todd Herman
Your alter ego begins with you - these skills are possible to attain. You just have to become clear of your current skills gap and those future skills you will undoubtedly need to possess to reach 2034 you (sorry I know there was a whole lotta negativity putting out that date like that- jump scare!!).
The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman is a great read to understand the power of the Alter Ego. He has literally, beyond writing this book, used his coaching on the topic with Olympic athletes, and famous performers - actors, singers, etc. There is proof in the pudding here my friends!
So, what does Todd tell us is instrumental in doing to build the origin story for our alter egos? Rewind to our original thought process of what your successful self looks like in the future and what skills you possess.
Now, I know this is where I will lose most of you - get the psychological mirror out it is time to look at you, today, right now.
What about you today makes you feel unhappy? What is causing dissatisfaction and where/what are you feeling longing for?
“Everything you need already exists in you.”
-Todd Herman
So here it is, Step One:
You need to identify what changes you will need to make - what do you need to begin stopping, starting, continuing, less of, and more of to move further away from your dissatisfaction by improving. Todd Herman coins these as the five categories of change.
Let’s get specific- for myself, I want to be similar to Brene Brown (maybe not as smart 😂) but just as influential when relating to lived experiences to help others on their path forward.
Me - today….I struggle to feel my experiences are worthy of influencing others and that I am not smart enough yet to hop on a TedTalks stage. So I avoid speaking with conviction and shy away from being confident in my skin.
But my alter ego? She doesn’t think twice - she shows up, she knows showing up and biting the bullet of sharing without worrying about the rest is critical to relate to others feeling alone as she once felt. But she shows up with unwavering confidence that she will help them feel seen.
Tricky-tricky, huh? Now that was just an example.
I challenge you to deep dive into Step One. Tap into this initial “alter ego” you envision and let that be a tool for you to step into those shoes and face your current ‘perceived’ limitations. You might be surprised about the distinction you find between actual gaps in abilities vs. what were fear-based limitations you placed on yourself.
“If you want to achieve the goals you have, then you need to master what’s happening inside of you,”
― Todd Herman
Next time, I will be digging into negative emotions and how to manipulate and trick them suckers - ‘cause we ain’t got time for them anymore🙌.